I'm 38 and I don't even know who I am anymore outside of being a dad. I was the guy who knew about music and movies and had interesting thoughts. Now I can tell you which dinosaur is which and how to get crayon out of carpet but I feel like I lost myself somewhere around kid two. Trying to find hobbies again but honestly everything feels selfish now and I feel guilty. Anyone else gone through this?
I feel this in my bones. I'm 40 and I just realized last month that I couldn't tell you what my hobbies even are anymore. Everything became about the kids. Working on getting back to knowing myself outside of that right now.
At 38 you've got plenty of time to rediscover who you are outside the dad role. Your kids need to see you as a full person anyway, not just the guy who takes care of them. What did you used to be into?
This hit different reading it. Being a dad is incredible but it shouldn't swallow your whole identity. Have you thought about carving out some time for the stuff you used to love? Even just an hour a week makes a difference.
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I read a lot of Narnia to my kid and sometimes I realize I'm more excited about the story than he is. Point is, your interests matter too and they don't have to change just because you're a parent.