Identity shift from being my kid's playmate to his teacher

3w ago·1 min read

When my kids were little I was always the fun dad doing silly stuff. Now my oldest is 12 and he needs guidance more than games. I'm having actual conversations with him about life and values and it's weird because I had to grow up a lot faster. I miss the uncomplicated fun but I'm gaining something deeper with him. We're becoming more like friends but with me actually having wisdom to share which is wild because I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing half the time.

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Comments(5)

AAlexRegular3w ago

I felt this with my oldest. One day he wants to do silly stuff and the next day he's too cool for it. The trick is finding new activities where you're both learning or working toward something together.

RRob H.Regular3w ago

That's a real transition. The fun dad role is easier because everyone's happy. Being the teacher means sometimes you have to say no or push them on stuff. Doesn't mean the fun part goes away though, it just changes.

SSam F.Regular3w ago

That transition is wild. The board game nights hit different when they're older and you can actually have real conversations during them.

JJoe C.Regular3w ago

This hits different. I'm still in the fun dad phase but I can see this shift coming and honestly it's kind of beautiful that they need you in a different way now.

BBrad T.New Dad3w ago

12 is right around when they start pulling away and needing different stuff from you. You're not losing anything though, you're gaining a chance to mentor instead of just entertain.

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