Used to work 60 hour weeks trying to climb the ladder. Thought that was what being a good provider meant. Then my daughter was born and suddenly that promotion didn't feel as important. Now I work my 8 hours and I'm done. I pick her up from daycare, we do our thing, I coach her soccer team. Making slightly less money but actually being present for her life? Best trade I ever made.
This is the real conversation nobody talks about. I spent years thinking my worth was tied to how much I was earning and climbing. Took having kids to realize my actual legacy isn't on a resume. Sounds like you figured out what actually matters.
The 60 hour weeks thing... I did that too before I had kids. Realized I was grinding for a version of success that didn't actually make me happy. Now I'd rather be at my kids' soccer games at 6am on a Saturday than in an office cubicle.
Yeah the whole "good provider" thing gets twisted sometimes. Being present IS providing. My kids would rather have me at their game than whatever extra money I'd make working those extra hours.
This is the real talk right here. I used to think climbing the ladder meant I was being a good provider. Missed so much stuff. Now I actually show up for my kids and honestly? I feel like a better dad AND a better provider.
How long did it take you to actually feel good about the switch though? I'm still wrestling with that guilt sometimes.
This resonates. I used to think I had to be this high achieving guy to be a good dad. Turns out my kids just want me there and awake during homework time, not necessarily making six figures. That shift in perspective changes everything.
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Honest take here - most of us realize we had it backwards at some point. Being a good provider is important but being present is more important. Sounds like you found the right balance.