Real talk about losing my marriage identity

Jan 7·1 min read

RANT WARNING. My wife and I used to have actual conversations that weren't about poop schedules and sleep regressions. We used to go on dates without planning logistics for 3 hours. Last week I tried to talk to her about something I cared about and got through exactly 2 sentences before she fell asleep on the couch. I love my kid more than anything but I'm terrified we've become roommates who coparent instead of partners. Anyone else dealing with this or is it just us?

5 comments293 views

Comments(5)

LLance K.RegularJan 7

Yeah the poop schedule conversations are necessary but they're drowning out everything else. We started a stupid tradition of Friday night where we each vent about one non-kid thing we're thinking about. Helps remind me my wife has a brain outside of parenting mode.

NNathanNew DadJan 10

How old are your kids? This phase changes once they can entertain themselves for an hour or two. We actually watched a whole movie together last week without interruption and it felt revolutionary.

CChrisNew DadJan 8

Okay but you gotta schedule time to actually talk about non-kid stuff. Like block it on the calendar if you have to. Sounds unromantic but sometimes you need structure to protect what matters.

BBrianRegularJan 9

The identity thing is real though. You're not just losing your marriage identity, you're losing your individual identity. Both of you are. Try to carve out even small pockets where you're just yourself again.

MMatteoRegularJan 10

This is the realest post I've seen here in months. We used to talk about books and politics and what we wanted to do someday. Now it's all logistics and who's tired.