Ten Years Later: Still Married but Became Someone Else

Apr 151 min read

Married my high school sweetheart when I was 22, had our first kid at 25, three more followed. I'm 35 now and I literally don't recognize the person I was back then. That guy was selfish, wanted to travel Europe, complained about money constantly, spent weekends doing whatever he wanted. Now I'm up at 5am packing lunches, coaching little league, worrying about college funds. What I gained is actually having PURPOSE. Like real, tangible purpose that isn't about me. What I miss? Honestly just the freedom to be spontaneous and the illusion that I was gonna be this cool adventurer guy. But that dude was kind of a jerk and his life felt hollow even though it looked fun on Instagram. My wife says she likes this version of me better. I think she's right.

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Comments(4)

BBrandonRegularApr 16

I get this. You're not the same guy who showed up at the hospital. Parenthood changes you fundamentally and sometimes the marriage has to catch up to the new you. Sounds like yours did.

RRyanRegularApr 17

This is heavy but real. I think a lot of us go through this where you realize you're not the same person and that's okay. Did it get better once you actually accepted the change instead of fighting it?

MMason T.New DadApr 17

Four kids in ten years and you're still standing. That's not 'became someone else' that's called growth under pressure. Respect.

PPatrick M.New DadApr 16

Props for staying married through it though. That's the hard part - evolving separately but staying together. Curious how your wife handled you becoming someone different.