The Identity Crisis Nobody Tells You About

2w ago1 min read

Got laid off after 15 years in tech sales. Spent two months actually present at home for the first time since my oldest was born. Started coaching my son's soccer team, helping my wife with the house, actually talking to my kids about their day instead of just asking how school was before checking email.

When I got a new job offer I honestly hesitated. That never would have happened before. The money's good but I hate that I'm back to being the guy who leaves before kids wake up and gets home when they're in bed. I gained actual relationships with my family but lost this thing about myself where I was "essential" and "high value" at work. Still figuring out how to be both the guy I was and the dad I want to be.

6 comments138 views

Comments(6)

JJakeNew Dad2w ago

Two months of actually being there instead of running around would change anyone's perspective. Coaching your kid has to feel different now that you're really part of it.

SShane K.Regular2w ago

Getting to coach your kid is something special, man. That's the stuff that really matters. Hope the transition is going smooth for you and that you're finding good things in this new chapter.

PPhil K.Regular2w ago

Being present for your kids is everything. Sounds like you're making the best of this time with them, and that's what they'll remember.

DDanielRegular2w ago

Getting laid off hit me hard at first but then I realized how much time I was missing at home. Identity crisis is real though. What are you doing with that time now?

MMiguelRegular2w ago

Nobody does talk about this. Society makes it seem like your job is your identity and then something like this happens and you're lost. Hang in there man.

TTrevor M.New Dad2w ago

15 years is a big chunk of your life to build your identity around a job. The good news is you've got time to figure out who you are outside of that.