The identity thing nobody talks about

May 13·1 min read

Got married young, became a dad at 24. Spent my whole adult life as a husband and father. Now I'm wondering who I am when I'm not in those roles. Had a moment last week where I realized I don't even know what my hobbies are anymore. Everything revolves around family and work. Kids are getting older so I have more free time now and I don't know what to do with it. Sounds weird to say but I'm trying to figure out who I am as a person again. Is this a midlife thing?

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Comments(6)

NNathanNew Dad3w ago

I can see how that would mess with your head. At least now you have the chance to explore other parts of yourself. Lot of guys never get that opportunity to reinvent. What's drawing your interest now that you have some space?

RRonRegular3w ago

That's real stuff right there. You built an identity around those roles for so long that losing even part of them can feel like losing yourself. The good news is you get to figure out who you are now beyond just those labels.

TTrevorRegular3w ago

This hits different. Nobody really prepares you for the identity crisis when your primary role shifts. But honestly it sounds like you're thinking about it in a healthy way instead of just spiraling.

RReggie K.RegularMay 13

Heavy question man. I think a lot of us are wrestling with this one. Maybe the answer is finding those things you do for yourself, even if it's just small stuff like my garden time.

CClint R.RegularMay 13

That's real. Been a dad since my twenties too and I'm still figuring out who I am outside of that. But I think you're more than you think - those experiences made you who you are.

GGreg M.RegularMay 13

This hits hard. Even with just one kid I'm starting to wonder the same thing. Thanks for putting it into words.