Used to be the guy who was always out, now I'm home and my friends don't get it

3w ago1 min read

Before kids I was doing the bar league bowling thing, poker nights, fantasy football was my whole life basically. Had my buddies over all the time. Now with two kids I'm home by 6, I'm exhausted by 9. My friends still try to include me but it feels awkward because I have to bail half the time. I don't resent my kids but I miss that version of myself who had time to just exist without being needed every second. Do you ever get that back?

7 comments181 views

Comments(7)

JJosh M.Regular3w ago

Your friends will either get it or they won't. The ones who get it will still be around in a few years when you have more time again. The ones who don't might drift away and that's okay. You're not losing yourself, you're gaining something. Different life chapter.

RRick M.Regular3w ago

Fantasy football is still my thing actually, just different stakes now. I run my league but I'm honest about not being able to make every meet up. Some friends thought I was crazy but others respect the boundaries. Maybe you find a version of those hobbies that works with where you are now?

KKyle M.Regular3w ago

I feel this hard. The bowling league seems like a lifetime ago. But here's the thing - that guy is still in there, he just evolved. I've realized my identity doesn't have to be about bar nights to still be cool. My kids think I'm the coolest guy in the world and honestly that's better than any fantasy football trophy.

CChris T.Regular3w ago

This is real. My poker buddies used to give me grief about bailing on games but honestly most of them are getting married now and they finally get it. Your old friends might not understand yet, but the ones worth keeping will. And you'll find new people who are in the same stage of life.

BBradRegular3w ago

This is real. I had to have the actual conversation with my crew that my priorities shifted. Took them a minute but now they just plan around my schedule. The bar league thing isn't gone forever, it just looks different now.

NNolan D.Regular3w ago

Man, I feel this in my soul. My poker nights turned into occasional games when someone's kid is at a sleepover. The guys still give me grief about leaving early to help with bath time. But honestly? I wouldn't trade it. Your friends will either get it eventually or you'll find new ones who already do.

MMike R.Regular3w ago

I'm still doing some of the bowling stuff but it's way less frequent. The fantasy football league was the hardest to let go of mentally, not gonna lie. But man, watching my kid get into stuff I care about is its own kind of high.