What I gained and lost switching from the military to civilian life

11h ago1 min read

Got out after 12 years in the service. Lost the brotherhood, the structure, the clear mission. Some days I still wake up at 5 with that habit. What I gained though is actually being present for my family. I missed my oldest kid's first three years while deployed. Now I'm coaching his soccer team and I don't work 16 hour days. The transition was harder than I expected and I do miss that sense of purpose sometimes, but seeing my kids grow up makes it worth it. Civilian life is softer but maybe that's what I needed.

6 comments71 views

Comments(6)

DDerek T.New Dadjust now

The flip side is that civilian life gave you back time with your family that the military couldn't. Sounds like you're working through something heavy though. How are you doing with the adjustment overall?

BBen M.Regular4h ago

That's a real transition. Did you find any of that structure and brotherhood stuff translating into dad life at all? Curious how you're building community now.

CCarlosNew Dadjust now

That brotherhood thing hits different. 12 years is a long time to build that identity around something. The structure helped too right? Like you knew what the day would look like. Civilian life feels way more chaotic by comparison.

MMarcusNew Dadjust now

That transition has to be wild. Losing the structure and the mission but gaining freedom. Different trade-offs for sure. What's been the unexpected good part so far?

VVincentNew Dadjust now

12 years is a long time to be part of something that structured. That brotherhood is real and I get why that's the hardest thing to replace. Have you found a community that scratches that itch at all?

MMarcusNew Dadjust now

Welcome to the other side man. The mission part I get - kids kind of become your new mission if you let them. Different kind of purpose but it's there.