What I've gained vs what I've lost becoming a father

Mar 81 min read

Lost: spontaneity, free time, disposable income, a clean house, my six pack abs, my old friend group (turns out a lot of them don't have kids so they don't get it), sleep, the ability to watch rated R movies without pausing it 47 times, my identity as just myself and not 'someone's dad'. Gained: a reason to get up in the morning, patience I didn't know I had, the ability to function on 4 hours of sleep, a new friend group of parents who actually understand, the best laugh I've ever heard, someone who thinks I'm a superhero, watching someone learn and grow, the realization that I'm capable of loving something more than myself. The loss list is longer but the gains hit different.

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Comments(3)

OOliver Q.RegularMar 8

The six pack is real, but you know what beats it? Watching your kids light up on a random Wednesday morning. That's the trade I made and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

SSam T.New DadMar 8

Four kids in, I'm telling you the clean house thing is a myth. But you learn to let it go and focus on what matters. The spontaneity comes back too, just looks different now - like surprise family dinner adventures instead of last minute bar trips.

VVincent L.New DadMar 8

Man, the friend group thing hits different. But real talk, you gain a whole new crew of people who actually get it. My lake house buddies now are all parents and we have way more fun than the old days anyway.