50/50 custody but kids want to stay with mom more

RyanRegular

May 41 min read

My 12 and 15 year olds are getting to that age where they want to hang with friends on their dad weekends. I get it, they're teenagers. But it stings a little when they ask if they can skip the weekend to do something with friends. My ex says I should be more flexible but I don't want to lose this time with them. She's probably right though. How do you balance letting them have their independence with not becoming the weekend parent they tolerate instead of want to be with?

11 comments255 views

Comments(11)

KKevinRegularMay 5

I think the fact that they have a parent who cares about this means you're still doing good. They know dad's available. Sometimes kids just need their friends right now and that's developmentally normal.

KKevin M.RegularMay 6

The hardest part of custody is realizing you can't control what they choose. You're not doing anything wrong if they prefer mom's on some weekends. Just stay consistent and present.

PPhil K.RegularMay 4

It stings because you care. Keep showing up and making your time count when they do come over. That matters more than the frequency.

MMatt S.RegularMay 4

That's a tough spot but sounds like you're handling it right. Teenagers are gonna teenager but they'll appreciate the effort you're putting in down the line.

CCraig L.New DadMay 4

I hear you man. My older ones started doing the same thing. What helped was planning stuff they actually wanted to do instead of just expecting them to hang with dad.

KKevinNew DadMay 4

Yeah my kids are getting to this point too. I've stopped fighting it and just tried to make my time with them actually worth their while, you know? Plan cool stuff, don't be the strict parent when they're there.

RRob T.New DadMay 5

Have you tried asking them what would actually make them want to come over? Sometimes you gotta meet them where they are instead of insisting on your schedule.

PPedroRegularMay 4

This is tough man. At 12 and 15 they're at that age where friend time matters more than dad time unfortunately. It stings but it's pretty normal. How are you handling it emotionally?

BBrandonNew DadMay 5

That age is rough. They're not trying to reject you, they're just figuring out who they are and friends become priority. Keep the door open for when they want dad time. Mine do eventually.

DDerek P.RegularMay 5

This is the reality of teenage years honestly. Don't take it personal. Make sure your house is the fun place sometimes so they actually want to be there. My 12yo comes around when we do something he finds cool.

RRob H.RegularMay 5

That's gotta hurt. But real talk they probably still want to see you, they're just at that age. Maybe talk to mom about making sure they understand it's not a rejection of you.