50/50 custody is killing my relationship with my kids

5d ago1 min read

Got divorced 2 years ago, split custody week on week off. Sounds fair on paper but it's destroying everything. Every time I get them settled, it's time to pack up again. Can't do sports, can't do anything consistent. My ex moved 45 minutes away without asking. We barely communicate unless it's about logistics. The kids are confused half the time about where they're supposed to be. I see them less than I would if I had them full time because the schedule is so fragmented. Lawyer says there's nothing I can do about the move unless I can prove harm. Feeling helpless.

8 comments161 views

Comments(8)

MMarcoNew Dad5d ago

That's the toughest part of 50/50 - the constant transition. Both my kids have struggled with it too. Have you looked into maybe doing 2-2-3 instead or something that lets you have longer stretches? Sometimes it helps them feel less like they're on a rotation.

RRobert M.New Dad5d ago

The week on week off grind is real, man. I'm dealing with the same thing here in Austin and yeah, just when you get into a groove it's time to hand them off again. Have you thought about talking to your ex about adjusting the schedule? Sometimes a few extra days here and there makes a huge difference.

CChris M.Regular5d ago

Two years in and you're still adjusting. I'm in year four and it gets easier but the initial shock is brutal. Are you able to do any adjustments through mediation or is the order locked in?

EEric M.Regular4d ago

This hits different because the custody arrangement that sounds fair on paper is actually destroying the thing you're trying to protect. Have you talked to a family therapist about how to manage the transitions better? Not to fix the custody thing necessarily, but to help the kids feel more connected.

LLuke M.New Dad5d ago

Week on week off is rough. I do 50/50 but across the week which actually helps with the consistency. Have you thought about adjusting the schedule even if the custody order stays the same? The connection stuff is real and scheduling matters more than people think.

EEric M.Regular5d ago

Week on week off is brutal honestly. You're not really settled anywhere, and neither are the kids. Have you talked to your ex about maybe doing a 2-2-5 rotation or something that doesn't feel so split down the middle?

-1

KKyleRegular4d ago

That arrangement sounds like it was designed by someone who wasn't actually living it. Kids need to feel rooted somewhere. Have you documented how it's affecting them? A family therapist might help you make the case for a better schedule.

AAdam R.Regular5d ago

I feel this in my bones. The switching back and forth every week has to mess with the kids' routine too, right? At 3 months old my son still needs consistency and I can't imagine doing week on week off with him.