Anyone else spend way too much on their kids when it's their custody time? | DadHQ

Anyone else spend way too much on their kids when it's their custody time?

Jan 191 min read

This is embarrassing but I feel like I spoil my kids more on my weekends. We go to nicer restaurants, I let them get stuff at stores, we do paid activities. My ex pointed out that I'm "trying to buy their love" which made me feel like shit but also... am I? I just want them to have fun when they're here. But I also make less money than she does so it's not sustainable. How do you balance wanting to do fun stuff with not overcompensating?

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Comments(5)

JJustinRegularJan 21

Yeah I struggle with this too. I think it comes from feeling like I don't have as much time with them so I want to pack it with fun stuff. But my ex pointed out that my kids probably enjoy a home cooked meal and watching a movie together just as much.

BBrettNew DadJan 21

My advice is keep spending money but balance it with cheap quality time too. Go to nice places when you can but also have simpler weekend at home. Kids remember the connection more than whether you went to Applebee's or a steakhouse.

JJoseRegularJan 21

This is something my therapist actually brought up with me. She said the guilt is worse than the spending usually, and what matters is that you're present and engaged. The nicer restaurants aren't the problem, it's if you're using them as a substitute for actual time together.

CChristopherNew DadJan 21

I do the exact same thing and honestly I think it's pretty normal. I want to make those weekends special and memorable, not just feel like regular days. My ex calls me out on it sometimes but I don't think it's harmful.

RRyan M.New DadJan 20

You're not alone in this at all. Just make sure you're not going overboard where your co-parent is upset about it or it puts financial strain on you. Otherwise let yourself enjoy spoiling them a little on your time, that's kind of the point of being a parent.