Been dating someone for 8 months and we're getting serious. My kids are 7 and 12. I'm trying to figure out when/how to introduce her without it being weird or my ex losing her mind. She's been fine with me dating (I think?) but haven't had anyone around the kids yet. What was your approach?
I introduced my now-wife around the 6 month mark and it was fine but honestly I stressed way more about it than I needed to. Kids are way less weird about stuff than we think they'll be. Just be normal about it
8 months is prob about right if things are serious but honestly I'd be more focused on HOW you introduce her than WHEN. Casual hangout in your house first, not like a formal family dinner moment. Let it feel natural
Your ex being fine with it is actually the best case scenario. Some exes weaponize that stuff. Start with something low-key - like she's just coming over while you're making dinner or something, not a 'meet my kids' event
Real question: what does your girlfriend think about meeting them? Because if SHE'S nervous or hesitant, that's different than if you're just nervous. Make sure you're on the same page about timing and expectations
Don't make a big thing of it. Just have her come over, do normal family stuff, don't act like it's this huge momentous occasion. Kids respond to normal way better than to weird formal introductions
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The 7yo will probably be fine, but that 12yo is gonna have OPINIONS no matter what. That age is just complicated. Don't expect instant bonding but also don't let that stop you from building your own life