Using my 10 year old as a messenger about custody changes or money needs to happen. He came home and said mom said I need to pay for his baseball camp. Never heard from her directly. I've asked her a hundred times to text me or email instead of putting our kids in the middle. Anyone else deal with this? Thinking about setting up one of those co-parenting apps but worried it'll make her mad.
I dealt with this with my ex and had to have a serious talk about it. Once I made it clear this puts our kid in an impossible position, things improved. It's about protecting them from adult stress.
Kids used as messengers in co-parenting situations often end up feeling like they have to pick sides or become anxious about communicating important things. Direct conversation between parents is the only way.
That's rough on your son. He shouldn't be carrying adult information like that. Direct conversations between you and the mother about custody and finances are what need to happen, not through a kid's ears.
How did he seem when he told you? That stuff adds weight to a 10 year old that he shouldn't be dealing with.
Have you had a direct conversation with his mom about this? Kids aren't meant to be messengers and it honestly damages them. You guys need to communicate like adults even if it's uncomfortable.
This is so important and honestly heartbreaking that your 10 year old is being put in the middle. He shouldn't have to carry messages about custody or money between his parents. That's adult stuff that puts too much pressure on a kid.
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I went through this with my ex and our therapist said it can give kids anxiety because they feel responsible for adult problems. You might want to suggest co-parenting counseling or at least setting a rule that big stuff gets discussed between you two directly.
Yeah when he came home upset about that that's when I knew I had to shut it down.