Every time I try to talk to her about the kids she brings up money or what I did wrong in the marriage. I'm trying to keep it professional but she won't let me. I want to co-parent properly but she seems like she just wants to fight. Should I switch to only email communication? Has anyone else dealt with this? I'm at my wit's end and the kids are picking up on the tension.
This is exactly why I use a parenting app now for all communication about the kids. Keeps things factual and removes the emotional landmines. Might help take the money stuff out of custody conversations.
That's rough, man. One thing that helped me was keeping responses super short and focused only on what's best for the kids. Don't engage with the money or history stuff. Just redirect back to the kids every time.
Have you considered mediation? I know it costs money upfront but it might save you a lot of stress. Someone neutral in the room can keep things on track.
That's exhausting, man. You're trying to co-parent and she's fighting old battles. Have you considered working with a mediator or is that off the table?
The toxic communication loop is real and it sucks. Only thing I figured out was setting hard boundaries - she brings up the past, the conversation ends. Takes discipline but it works.
I feel this in my bones. Every conversation about schedule or pickups somehow becomes about past stuff. Have you thought about using a co-parenting app? Takes the emotion out of it when you're just messaging through there instead of texting back and forth.
That's rough man. The money stuff getting dragged into every conversation about the kids is exhausting. Have you tried insisting on keeping kid conversations separate from financial stuff? Like literally saying 'I need to talk about pickup on Thursday, the money stuff is separate'?
Been there. What helped us was using a third party app where we could only message about logistics. Took emotions out of it because it's just factual stuff in writing. Less room for the other stuff to creep in.
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This is one of the hardest parts of co-parenting honestly. You're not wrong to want to keep kid stuff separate. Setting boundaries feels harsh sometimes but it actually makes things better for everyone including the kids.