Custody evaluation coming up and I'm nervous

JakeNew Dad

May 61 min read

Long story short, my ex is trying to change custody from 50/50 to her having more time. Says I'm not involved enough even though I see the kids 4 days a week and handle morning school runs on my days. Her lawyer is implying I work too much and aren't emotionally present. Which is kind of rich coming from someone who puts the kids on iPads while she works. The evaluator is coming to our houses next week. Anyone been through this? What do they actually look at? I've been taking more photos with the kids and keeping records of everything but now I feel like I'm being paranoid.

6 comments216 views

Comments(6)

RRexRegularMay 7

You got this. I know it's nerve wracking but evaluators have seen it all and they know when someone actually cares about being a parent. Just be yourself and let your relationship with your kids speak for itself.

PPedroRegularMay 8

Evaluations are stressful as hell. My ex tried the same thing and the evaluator saw through it real quick. Just be honest about what you do with your time, keep your house clean, have examples of your involvement. They're looking for patterns, not perfection.

CColin M.New DadMay 6

These evaluations suck but they're fair if you just show up and be honest. Don't trash talk your ex, focus on what YOU do with the kids and why you want that time with them. That's what matters.

RRob H.RegularMay 7

Stay calm and document everything. I went through this and having a clear record of your involvement, work schedule, and how you spend time with the kids is crucial. The evaluator wants to see you're engaged and present.

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KKevin M.RegularMay 7

What's she claiming exactly? Is it activity-based or something more serious? Either way document everything you do with the kids. Photos, receipts from activities, messages back and forth. Make it easy for the evaluator to see you're involved.

PPedroRegularMay 7

Get a lawyer if you don't have one already. These things can swing either way and you want someone in your corner who knows the local courts. Seriously don't go in there unprepared.