Custody schedule change mid-year - am I being unreasonable?

Dec 261 min read

My ex wants to switch from 50/50 to her having the kids (ages 7 and 10) for the full summer because she's doing this camp director thing. I had plans for a father-son trip to Colorado with my oldest. I said no, suggested she could adjust her schedule since I gave her the flexibility on spring break last year when her mom was visiting. Now she's threatening to involve lawyers.

Honestly I feel like I'm being completely reasonable but also don't want this to blow up. Has anyone dealt with something similar? Do I need to lawyer up preemptively or am I overthinking?

5 comments309 views

Comments(5)

RRon D.New DadDec 26

Honestly the fact that she didn't ask if it would affect your summer plans before committing to camp director is the annoying part. Co-parenting requires actually co-parenting, not just informing you after the fact. Stand your ground on this one.

SSam F.New DadDec 27

That's tough because it's not unreasonable for her to want a promotion opportunity, but it's also not unreasonable for you to have already planned a trip with your oldest. Can you negotiate? Maybe she gets them for first 4 weeks of summer and you get the last 2 for your trip? Or a modified schedule that lets both things happen?

SSawyer N.RegularDec 28

You're not being unreasonable but you need to handle this right. She probably thinks she's being flexible about the whole parenting thing and doesn't realize you already committed to your son. Have the conversation where you acknowledge her opportunity AND stand firm that you had this planned. Maybe split the summer - she takes first month for camp, you take second for the trip.

MMike T.RegularDec 28

NTA - but also, your ex probably doesn't realize how much your son was looking forward to this. Frame it that way. Not "you're messing up my plans" but "our son has been talking about this trip for months." That sometimes lands better.

LLuca P.RegularDec 29

Document the original plan you had with your son. If this was already discussed/scheduled, she's kind of moving goalposts mid-game. Don't just cave to this. A father-son trip is important, especially to a 10yo. Work around her camp dates if you can.