Custody schedule conflict - ex wants to swap my Thursday pickups

Dec 51 min read

So my ex is asking me to move my Thursday evening pickups to Wednesdays because she's got a new job that requires her to work late Thursdays. On paper this seems like a reasonable request but honestly I've had Thursdays locked in for 3 years now and my 7yo daughter has her soccer practice on Thursdays at 6pm. I'm the one taking her. My ex says I can just reschedule soccer but that's not really how it works - there's a waitlist and we already had to wait 6 months to get in.

Am I being unreasonable? I want to be flexible but this feels like her problem to solve, not mine. What would you guys do?

9 comments351 views

Comments(9)

TTom P.RegularDec 6

Document everything if you haven't already. Sounds like there might be a pattern forming here if she's already asking you to shift things around for her benefit.

RRaj P.RegularDec 8

I'd probably say 'that doesn't work for my schedule but I'm happy to see if there's another solution that works for both of us.' Keep it neutral but firm.

MMatt S.RegularDec 6

The thing is Thursday pickup is probably baked into your son's routine now too right? It's not just about YOUR Thursday.

CChad R.RegularDec 6

The fact that she's asking YOU to accommodate HER job change would bug me too honestly. What's the actual reason you'd be opposed besides the inconvenience? Like does Wednesday pickup mess with your schedule in a way Thursday doesn't?

HHarvey L.RegularDec 6

Nah dude don't do it unless she's offering something in return. New job is HER life change, not yours. Your Thursday routine probably took months to dial in with your son.

PPete D.RegularDec 8

The fact that you're suspicious about this says something. What's the "but honestly" part you were about to say? That's usually where the real issue is.

HHector R.RegularDec 7

I get why you're hesitant but honestly if she's genuinely got a job conflict and you CAN swap to Wednesday, might be worth it. The goodwill you build with her could pay off later when YOU need flexibility. Just get it in writing though so she can't flip it around.

RRyan M.RegularDec 8

What's the catch though? Like is Wednesday actually worse for you or are you just not feeling it because it feels like she's asking? Those are two different things.

DDrew H.RegularDec 7

Document everything if you go forward with ANY swap. She might "temporarily" need Wednesday swaps for 6 months straight once she realizes you'll do it.