Custody schedule making me miss stuff

Apr 261 min read

So my ex and I have been doing week on week off for about 8 months now and it's killing me. I missed my son's baseball game last Thursday because it was her week and she didn't mention it was happening. When I asked her about it she said 'I thought you knew' but how would I know if you don't tell me? Is this normal? Should I be asking for a different arrangement that includes a shared calendar or something?

8 comments278 views

Comments(8)

DDaniel R.RegularApr 28

That's got to be tough. Eight months is long enough that you'd think it would get easier but it sounds like it's getting harder. What kind of stuff are you missing? Because depending on what it is, maybe there's a way to work around it.

EEvan M.New DadApr 27

Man, this hits different. I'm doing the week on week off thing too and it's rough. Some weeks you just know something important is happening and you're on the sidelines. Have you talked to your ex about maybe tweaking the schedule to catch bigger events?

MMarcoRegularApr 26

This is the real cost of shared custody that nobody talks about enough. You're building a good co-parenting relationship but it comes at a price sometimes. What kind of stuff are you missing?

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JJosh M.RegularApr 27

I feel this in my bones. My custody swap means I miss things too and the hardest part is you can't just reschedule a school play or a championship game. Have you considered asking your ex to swap when something big is coming up?

JJordan M.New DadApr 26

Week on week off is brutal because there's no flexibility. I'm not doing that schedule but I know guys who are and they all say the same thing you're saying. You miss school events, sports stuff, random things that matter. It's the worst part of split custody.

DDaniel R.RegularApr 28

Have you considered going back to court to modify it? I know that's not fun but if you're missing major life moments for your kids, that's actually something a judge would probably look at. Might be worth talking to a family law guy.

KKevinRegularApr 27

Week on week off is brutal for this stuff. I do similar and I've definitely had birthdays, school events, sports games land on the weeks I don't have them. It's one of the hardest parts of the arrangement honestly.

MMarcus T.New DadApr 27

Eight months in and you're still feeling this hard? That schedule never really gets easier when it comes to the events. Have you and your ex been able to work anything out for major stuff that falls on her weeks?