Custody swap on Christmas Eve - what's your strategy?

Dec 161 min read

So we have a 50/50 split and Christmas Eve lands on my ex's night this year. She wants to do the morning exchange instead of evening so the kids can "transition better." Honestly feels like she's trying to get extra time. My kids are 7 and 9 and they're old enough to understand the schedule. Am I being unreasonable wanting to stick to the agreed-upon time? How do you all handle holiday swaps?

10 comments241 views

Comments(10)

BBenny R.RegularDec 17

Morning exchange is actually better for the kids transition-wise though, not gonna lie. Less back and forth anxiety before bed. Feels like she might have a point even if her timing sucks

TTerrence J.RegularDec 16

Oof this one stings. But honestly if she's suggesting it FOR the kids and not just to mess with your schedule, that's the move. Christmas Eve mornings hit different anyway

MMatt W.RegularDec 17

Morning exchange instead of evening specifically so she gets the kids for the full day/night is... yeah that's moving the goalposts. Christmas Eve morning is when you get your time. Stand firm. The 'transition better' thing is code for 'I want more hours.'

BBrad H.RegularDec 17

lol 'transition better' - kids transition fine. They do it every week. She's just testing whether you'll cave. Happened with my ex and once I said no once, she stopped asking.

BBen D.RegularDec 18

I'd offer a compromise that actually helps kids: maybe you do pickup 30min early on Dec 23rd instead so they're settled before the holiday. But not Christmas Eve morning. That's your time and you earned it.

AAllen K.RegularDec 17

What does 'transition better' actually mean though? Like is she saying evenings are hard on them or is she just being difficult? Huge difference

DDominic E.RegularDec 17

The 'transition better' argument would apply to EVERY exchange ever. Don't accept that logic. Keep the schedule as written. Consistency is what actually helps kids, not moving the line every holiday.

CChris T.RegularDec 18

Last year I fought something similar and it cost us both time and stress and the kids noticed. This year I just said yes to the morning thing. Not a hill

WWade T.New DadDec 19

We do morning swaps on holidays and it does actually make bedtime easier. Kids not freaking out about missing one parent while trying to sleep. Can't believe I'm saying she might be right

MMatt S.RegularDec 19

This is exactly why having it in writing matters. Your custody order says evening swap, so evening swap it is. Don't let her reframe it as a favor to the kids when it's really just her optimizing her time.