I only get my kids Tuesday and Thursday nights plus every other weekend. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on their lives and like I'm becoming that guy they see twice a week. The guilt is eating at me. Had to go to therapy because I was getting depressed about it. Anyone else struggle with this? How do you make the most of the time you do have?
Embrace the chaos my friend. I know that sounds wild coming from a guy with four kids but custody situations are what they are. Your kids will remember that you showed up, that you were engaged when you had them. Don't let guilt turn your time with them into you being stressed and distracted.
The guilt is the worst part honestly. I get my kids on alternating weekends and I used to feel like I had to make every second special or I was failing them. Therapy helped me understand that just being present and showing up consistently is what matters. You're not missing their lives, you're building a different kind of relationship.
The guilt is normal but here's the thing - the kids just want their dad. Make those days count and don't waste mental energy on what you can't control. I coach on weekends and don't get Saturdays sometimes but we find our rhythm.
I get this. Some weeks I feel like I'm just getting to know them again on Thursday and then Friday comes. But then my therapist reminded me that consistency matters way more than volume. You're consistent.
Tuesday and Thursday plus every other weekend adds up to real time though. Quality over quantity is the cliche but it's true. You're showing up and that's what counts.
Have you talked to the kids about what THEY want to do on your days? Sometimes letting them drive the schedule helps with the guilt. Less time spinning on what you're missing, more time actually there.
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Man, I feel this in my soul. Tuesday and Thursday nights here too, and I used to beat myself up about missing out on the other days. But here's what I realized - those nights are YOURS. Make them count. Quality over quantity, right? The guilt gets easier when you stop comparing your situation to two-parent households.