Dealing with my ex's new partner being around the kids | DadHQ

Dealing with my ex's new partner being around the kids

7h ago1 min read

So my ex has been seeing someone for a few months and now he's been at drop offs and apparently spending time with the kids when they're over there. I don't have anything against the guy but like, they haven't been dating that long and I'm not super comfortable with him being a regular presence yet. Is this something I can bring up with my ex without starting a fight? What's the reasonable timeline for introducing new partners into your kids' lives?

6 comments162 views

Comments(6)

EEdNew Dadjust now

Have you talked to your ex directly about boundaries? Like, I'm not saying tell her who she can date, but maybe you can agree on stuff like he shouldn't be at every pickup if it makes you uncomfortable. Keep it about logistics not emotions.

KKevinNew Dadjust now

This is tough man. I'd say focus on what matters - is he being good to the kids? Is he respectful? If yes to both then you have to let it go even though it sucks. My ex's boyfriend is actually pretty decent and it took me a while to accept that.

DDerek M.New Dadjust now

How long has he been around the kids? That's going to matter a lot. A few months is still pretty new and honestly it's fair to want to know more before he's being a regular fixture at pickups.

VVincent L.New Dad7h ago

This is tough, man. I went through something similar and the hardest part was just accepting I couldn't control what happened at her place. What helped me was focusing on being the best dad I could be during my time with the kids and letting them feel safe with me. They'll figure out who matters.

MMike R.New Dad7h ago

I get why this stings. Few months in and he's already around the kids - that would get under my skin too. But honestly, as long as he's not a bad influence, trying to keep him away might backfire. Just make sure your kids know you're still their rock.

FFred J.Regular7h ago

Yeah, that's a rough situation. Have you tried just asking your ex directly how things are going instead of assuming the worst? My kids used to tell me all kinds of made up stuff until I realized I was just wound tight about things.