Just realized Thanksgiving is 8 months away and I'm already thinking about it because my ex likes to plan early (which, fine, I get it). We don't have anything officially written down for holidays beyond Christmas.
Should I be the one to bring this up or wait for her? I want to make sure I get some quality time with the kids but don't want to seem controlling. How do most people handle this?
The fact that you're thinking about this 8 months early is actually responsible co-parenting. Most people don't think about it until October and then fight about it. Setting it now prevents a lot of stress
Don't overthink it. Pick a simple framework (alternating years, or specific days for each person) and then add in exception clauses if something comes up. My custody agreement literally just says "Mother gets Thanksgiving in odd years" and it's been perfect
Get it in writing now. Your ex wanting to plan early is actually a gift because you can nail down Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break, whatever. Saves arguments later
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We did every other year alternating holidays. So I get Thanksgiving this year, she gets it next year, etc. Way easier than trying to split the day. You both get to do the full thing your own way