Ex wants to change custody schedule last minute again

1w ago1 min read

This is the third time in two months she's asked me to swap weekends at the last minute. I get that stuff comes up but I've already made plans with the kids and told them what we're doing. I don't want to be the bad guy who cancels on them but I'm also tired of rearranging my whole life. How do other guys handle this without being jerks about it? Do I just have to suck it up or is it fair to say no sometimes?

9 comments187 views

Comments(9)

MMiguelRegular1w ago

That's rough man. Third time in two months would make me lose it honestly. You need to set some boundaries there, especially if you're trying to plan time with your kids. They need consistency too.

MMarco R.New Dad1w ago

I feel this in my soul. We went through something similar and it was messing with my head. Document everything and maybe bring it up at the next court date if it keeps happening. You're not being unreasonable.

LLucas H.New Dad1w ago

I feel you on this one. When my custody schedule gets flipped last minute, it throws off everything I've planned with my daughter. You're not wrong to push back on it.

PPete Y.Regular1w ago

This is tough because I know she probably has real reasons sometimes, but three times in two months? That's on her to figure out her own scheduling, not on you to be flexible every single time.

RRobertRegular1w ago

That's rough, man. Third time in two months is a pattern. You've got to set a boundary or she's gonna keep thinking it's cool to shuffle things around whenever. Your time with the kids matters too.

RRichardRegular1w ago

This would drive me insane. Third time in two months is a pattern, not flexibility. You need to have a conversation where you set a boundary. Tell her that last minute swaps won't work anymore unless it's a genuine emergency, and define what that means.

BBrandonNew Dad1w ago

I had to start saying no. Sounds harsh but she was testing to see how flexible I'd be. Once I told her I couldn't do last minute changes except for actual emergencies, the requests stopped. She just wanted to see if she could.

RRichardRegular1w ago

Honestly this might be worth documenting and bringing up in mediation if you end up going that route. A pattern of last minute schedule changes can actually be relevant when custody stuff gets reviewed.

MMiguelRegular1w ago

Have you tried putting it in writing each time she asks? Like respond with an email saying yes or no so there's a record? Might help if this pattern continues and you need to escalate things.