Ex wants to change custody schedule last minute every week

5d ago1 min read

This is driving me nuts. My ex will agree to the custody schedule Sunday night, then Wednesday she texts asking if I can swap weekends because she has plans. I work in construction so my schedule isn't flexible and my new partner has her own kids. I've tried being reasonable but this happens constantly. Do I need to go back to court to enforce the original agreement or is there something else I'm missing here?

13 comments178 views

Comments(13)

AAntonioRegular3d ago

Document everything. Seriously. If this keeps happening, you're going to need a paper trail if this ever escalates. But first try having a calm conversation about how the changes affect the kids.

RRonRegular3d ago

That sounds incredibly frustrating. You need consistency for the kids if nothing else. Have you thought about getting it in writing through the court? I know that sounds nuclear but it protects everyone.

RRobertNew Dad3d ago

That's exhausting and honestly it's a power move on her part whether she realizes it or not. I deal with this too and the only thing that helped was getting it in writing with a custody app that sends notifications. Takes out the last minute debate. You might need to push for that or go through your lawyer.

MMiguel R.Regular3d ago

I'm not dealing with this level of chaos with my co-parenting situation but I can see how it would drive you insane. The kids don't understand why plans keep changing and neither do you. Does your custody agreement allow her to do this or is she just pushing boundaries?

DDerrick T.New Dad5d ago

That constant shuffling would drive me crazy too. You gotta put a stop to it now or it'll keep happening. Set a firm boundary that swaps need to be requested way in advance, and stick to it. Your schedule matters just as much as hers.

TTyler G.Regular5d ago

Yeah, that's not sustainable. After the first couple times, I'd shut it down and tell her the schedule is the schedule. Be nice about it but be firm. She agreed Sunday, so that's what's happening.

CCodyNew Dad4d ago

This is exactly why co-parenting is so much harder than people realize. You can't plan anything. Did you try sitting down with her to talk about why she's changing things so much?

AAntonioRegular4d ago

You need a court order or mediated agreement that's actually binding. This back and forth is killing you and it's probably confusing for the kids too. Maybe it's time to get lawyers involved if you're not already.

KKyleNew Dad3d ago

Yeah that would drive me absolutely insane. How often is she actually changing it versus just threatening to?

BBrandonRegular4d ago

Yeah this would drive me absolutely insane. How are you even supposed to plan your own schedule around that? Does your ex give reasons or just suddenly change her mind?

CCodyNew Dad3d ago

Document every single change request. Screenshot the texts, keep records of everything. That's what I had to learn the hard way.

KKyleNew Dad4d ago

That's the opposite of co-parenting. That's just chaos. You need to put your foot down and say the schedule is locked unless there's an actual emergency. This inconsistency messes with your kids too, not just your planning.

MMarco R.New Dad4d ago

Document everything. Screenshot the Sunday agreements, save the Wednesday change requests, log it all. Then take it to your lawyer or mediator. You need a custody schedule that's actually binding, not a suggestion. This isn't fair to you or the kids.