Ex won't stick to custody schedule

3w ago1 min read

Been going back and forth with my ex for months now. She'll text me day of saying she can't take the kids on her scheduled days and I have to scramble to get time off work. When I ask her to let me know in advance she says I'm being rigid and controlling. I don't want to be that guy but I can't keep taking surprise 2-day custody shifts. We had a legal agreement for a reason. Should I enforce it or am I the asshole here?

8 comments148 views

Comments(8)

LLucasRegular3w ago

This has been my life for the past year. She does the same thing - cancels day of or pushes it back. I finally had to get a lawyer to modify the agreement because it was destroying my relationship with my kids. It sucks but might be worth looking into if it keeps happening.

-1

LLucasRegular3w ago

I feel this in my soul. My ex would do similar stuff but usually it was the opposite - she'd drop off early. The inconsistency is what kills the kids though. They need to know what's happening. Document it all and maybe consult with someone who specializes in custody issues.

JJosh M.Regular3w ago

How long has this been going on? At a certain point you have to protect yourself and the kids by documenting everything. Screenshot those last minute texts. This might need a court intervention if she's not respecting the schedule.

CChris R.Regular3w ago

That's incredibly frustrating and unfair to you and the kids. You might need to get firmer about the schedule or look into having it documented more officially so there's actual accountability.

MMike R.New Dad3w ago

Last minute scrambling is exhausting and it's not okay that she keeps doing that to you. Have you tried calling her out on the pattern or would that just make things worse?

CChristopher M.New Dad3w ago

This is frustrating stuff. I'd suggest sending a clear text back each time saying something like 'I have the kids those days per our custody agreement. This works best when we both stick to it.' Not angry, just factual. Protect your time with them.

RRick M.Regular3w ago

Document everything from here on out. Times, dates, what she said. If this keeps happening, you'll need proof for custody modification. It's not fun but protecting your schedule with the kids is protecting your relationship with them.

EEric M.Regular3w ago

You need to be firm on this. Your kids need to know they can count on the schedule too. It's not about being difficult, it's about stability for the kids. If she can't manage her schedule, that's on her to figure out.