This is really frustrating. We have a court ordered 50/50 split, weeks on weeks off. But my ex keeps texting last minute saying she needs to switch weekends or wants extra time with the kids. When I say no because I have plans, she acts like I'm being unreasonable. I want the kids to see their mom but I can't be flexible every single week. How do other guys handle this without losing their minds?
That's rough. I've been there with three kids and shifting schedules. Document those last minute switches and bring them up at your next check-in with her about sticking to the court order.
Last minute switches for a 50/50 split are the worst because they mess with your whole week. Have you tried telling her you need at least 48 hours notice for changes unless it's an emergency?
Is she giving you reasons or just... doing it? Because there's a difference between a parent asking for occasional adjustments versus straight up ignoring the court order. The second one is contempt of court and not okay.
This is exactly why my ex and I set up a shared calendar app. It's harder to ignore or change things when it's all digital and timestamped. Might be worth suggesting to her as a way to keep everyone on the same page.
Man, that's rough. Have you documented all the times she's deviated from the schedule? I know it sucks to keep records like that, but if this keeps happening, you might need to go back to the judge with evidence. Consistency is what the kids need anyway.
This is when you need to be the steady one for your kids. I know you can't control what she does, but making sure your weeks are predictable and fun will actually mean more to them than her inconsistency hurts.
Man, that's rough. Have you tried documenting everything? Like, every time she deviates from the schedule, write it down with dates and times. If it keeps happening, that paper trail could actually help if you end up back in court.
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I feel you on this one. My ex used to do the same thing and it was confusing for the kids more than anything else. Have you tried sitting down and having a calm conversation about what's making her break the schedule? Sometimes there's a legit reason, sometimes not.