Ex won't stick to the schedule and I'm losing my mind | DadHQ

Ex won't stick to the schedule and I'm losing my mind

2d ago1 min read

We agreed on Wednesday nights and every other weekend but the last month she's been pushing it around constantly. "Can you take them Tuesday instead?" "My mom is visiting Saturday." I get that life happens but I've made plans and rearranged my work schedule and I'm just frustrated. Do I need to put this in writing officially or am I being a jerk about it? I don't want to be the difficult one but I also need some consistency.

5 comments214 views

Comments(5)

MMiguel R.Regular1d ago

This is rough. When my ex started doing this I had to have a serious conversation about how it affects the kids, not just my schedule. Sometimes framing it that way gets better results than just complaining about the inconvenience.

MMasonNew Dad1d ago

The schedule pushing around is so frustrating. I've been dealing with something similar and honestly the inconsistency messes with the kids' heads more than anything. Have you tried documenting when she changes things or does she just give you a heads up last minute?

MMasonNew Dad8h ago

You might need to put together a written agreement about what happens when she wants to change the schedule. Like, does she need to give you 48 hours notice? Can you swap weekends instead of just skipping them? Makes it less about feelings and more about clear rules.

DDanielRegular2d ago

That's rough. I had to deal with similar stuff in Austin and it messes with everyone's routine, especially the kids. Consider setting a rule that schedule changes need 48 hours notice minimum, otherwise you stick to what's written. Protects your sanity and theirs.

LLucasNew Dad2d ago

Man, I feel this. With three kids and two households, I've learned that consistency is everything for them. Document what's happening, stay firm but civil about the schedule, and honestly it might be time for a frank conversation or even putting it in writing through a lawyer if she keeps moving the goalposts.