Finally got a parenting plan that works (took 8 months)

Nov 231 min read

Posted here a bunch about struggling with the back-and-forth with my ex over custody schedules. We finally hammered out something that works for our situation. We're doing 5-2-2-5 instead of straight 50/50, and honestly? It's so much better. Less transitions for the kids, less logistics nightmare for us. Only took mediation and like 47 different spreadsheets lmao. If anyone's been going in circles on this, sometimes trying a different schedule structure actually helps instead of just forcing a standard split.

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Comments(6)

CChris N.Regular1d ago

the 47 spreadsheets comment just made me laugh because I have like 60 tabs open right now trying to figure out school pickups, activities, and who's supposed to have them when. my ex keeps changing her mind about what 'works better' so nothing ever sticks. glad you found something that actually stuck

KKent R.Regular1d ago

ok but how do you handle it when one of the kids has an activity or event that falls on the other parent's week? that's what always blows up our schedule. we did 5-2-2-5 for like 3 months and ended up abandoning it because my ex wouldn't flex when our daughter had soccer tournaments

DDale J.Regular1d ago

what's your 5-2-2-5 breakdown exactly? like 5 days with mom then 2 with dad then 2 with mom then 5 with dad? been stuck on the standard 50/50 and it's killing us with transitions

RRaj P.Regular1d ago

This is huge. Everyone talks about 50/50 like it's the holy grail but if you've got kids in school/activities it's a nightmare. did you work with your mediator specifically to figure out the transition days or did you come up with this schedule yourself and just have them formalize it?

SSean A.Regular1d ago

nailed it. we did something similar and my oldest actually stopped asking "when do I have to go to mom's?" like it was a burden. fewer transitions = fewer meltdowns = everyone's happier. took us 6 months and a mediator but worth every penny

HHank W.Regular1d ago

dude same. going from every other day swaps to longer blocks changed EVERYTHING. my commute to her mom's dropped from like 200 miles a week to basically weekend stuff. plus the kids actually remember what clothes they left at each house lol. congrats on getting this sorted, 8 months is rough but at least you're through it