Finally stood up for myself and set a boundary

Dec 28·1 min read

My ex has a habit of texting me at like 11pm asking if I can switch weekends because something came up. For 2 years I've been saying yes because I didn't want to be "that guy." Last week she did it AGAIN and I just said no. Cited my own plans (which were legit - friend's birthday).

She got annoyed but I was firm and polite. Turns out the sky didn't fall. She figured it out. Feels weird to not automatically accommodate but also feels necessary. Anyone else struggle with this?

4 comments195 views

Comments(4)

FFinn M.RegularDec 28

Good for you man. The 11pm texts are crazy disrespectful. She's got all day to plan but waits until you're winding down. You set that boundary, you stick with it. I had to do the same thing with mine.

JJoey M.RegularDec 29

How did she react when you told her no? I'm still struggling with this part because I don't want to be the bad guy but also my time with the kids matters.

TTony F.RegularDec 29

The fact that you 'finally' stood up says a lot about how long you were letting it slide. Been there. Once you start enforcing boundaries the guilt fades and things actually get better.

HHenry M.RegularDec 30

Setting it in writing helps too. Like a text back saying you need 48 hours notice for any switches. Makes it official and she can't claim she didn't know the rule.