So my ex has been dating this guy for like 3 months and he's apparently at her place when the kids are there. I don't really know him and my oldest mentioned he was there during their bedtime routine. I'm trying not to be that guy but it feels weird. Should I say something or is this none of my business? We're supposed to co-parent but stuff like this makes it hard.
I get the frustration here. Co-parenting is already tough without surprise new people in the mix. Your ex probably should've given you a heads up and eased the kids into it differently.
Man, three months is pretty quick. Your concerns are valid, especially with the kids noticing the tension. Maybe suggest a conversation about introductions and timelines before things get more awkward with your oldest.
I'd be feeling weird about that too. Not saying it's wrong but it's reasonable to want more stability and time before new partners are in the picture during custody time.
The tough part of co-parenting. You don't get to control her choices but you can definitely have a conversation about what's best for the kids.
Three months is pretty quick to be around the kids regularly. That's a fair thing to bring up. Have you talked to your ex about your comfort level with it?
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Three months in and he's already a regular presence? That would bug me too. I'd definitely talk to your ex about introducing new people gradually - your oldest picking up on your discomfort makes it a bigger deal than it needs to be.