Holiday schedule negotiation getting heated

Dec 14·1 min read

So my ex wants Christmas Eve this year because she "always" had it, but we never actually put that in the custody agreement. Our kids are 8 and 5, and I've been doing Christmas Eve with them since the split 2 years ago. She's now saying it's "emotionally important" to her tradition and threatening to take it to court. Ngl this feels like a power move after I asked about switching Thanksgiving. Has anyone dealt with this? Do courts actually care about tradition or just what's in the paperwork?

7 comments248 views

Comments(7)

RRob K.RegularDec 14

This is why people need to put this stuff in writing BEFORE it becomes a problem. That said, what's your actual custody split? Might be worth alternating years

TTony V.RegularDec 14

Getting heated doesn't help anything. Suggest alternating years going forward (you get 2024, she gets 2025, etc) and get it in WRITING this time. Prevents this from happening again

KKarl J.RegularDec 14

If it's not in the agreement, you don't owe her anything. She doesn't get to claim tradition when there's no legal backing. That said, what do your KIDS want to do?

TTom R.RegularDec 15

Does your agreement say anything about 'traditional' holidays or just the specific ones? Because 'always had it' without it being documented doesn't mean much

WWill R.RegularDec 16

What do your 8 and 5 yo actually want? At some point their preference should matter more than whoever 'always' had it. Ask them

AArchie K.RegularDec 16

She can't hold you to something that was never agreed upon. You've been doing Christmas Eve with them for years - that's precedent in your favor if this goes anywhere

HHank C.RegularDec 14

The kids remembering you doing it with them matters more than what the original custody agreement says. Don't let her pressure you into giving up something you've already established as your thing