Holiday schedule negotiation starting - advice appreciated | DadHQ

Holiday schedule negotiation starting - advice appreciated

Jan 61 min read

We agreed loosely that ex gets Thanksgiving, I get Christmas, but never put specifics in writing (huge mistake, I know). Now she's asking about Christmas Eve (when kids will open presents) vs Christmas Day (my legally scheduled day).

I want the Eve because that's the tradition we had together, but I also don't want to be the guy fighting over literal hours on Christmas. How do people usually split this? And should I try to get it in writing for next year?

5 comments249 views

Comments(5)

BBrandonRegularJan 6

This is the one thing I actually paid a lawyer to help with instead of trying to DIY it. Cost me like $300 total but saved me from so much back and forth. They can draft something simple that covers the holidays plus Spring Break, summer, all of it. Worth every penny.

TTyler M.New DadJan 6

The 'loosely agreed' thing is where it gets ugly. You both remember the conversation differently when December rolls around and emotions are high. Get something documented even if it's just an email. Future you will be grateful.

LLuis H.New DadJan 6

My ex and I actually alternate years for the major holidays which ended up being way less stressful than splitting them. Kid gets full Thanksgiving at her place one year, full Christmas at mine the next, then we flip. Less constant back and forth during the season.

PPete S.RegularJan 8

Get it in writing NOW. I learned this the hard way when my ex suddenly wanted to flip the schedule right before Thanksgiving because her new boyfriend had family coming in. Court documents don't fix hurt feelings but they do prevent arguments that spiral. Even just a text exchange saying 'Thanksgiving you get him from X date to Y date' and she replies 'agreed' is better than nothing.

EEric M.New DadJan 6

Don't forget to think about the logistics too - what time does pickup happen? Who handles travel if one of you moved? Do the kids stay overnight or is it day visits? These details matter way more than you think when December 25th is actually here.