Honest question: is my parenting style too different from their mom's?

I'm more hands-off, outdoorsy, let them make mistakes and learn. Their mom is structured, scheduled, worries about grades obsessively (they're in 2nd and 5th grade). The kids seem confused about expectations - one minute they can be bored and figure it out, next minute they're in trouble for not having everything organized. I don't think either approach is wrong but the whiplash seems real. How much should I try to match her style to keep things consistent vs. just being my authentic self as a parent?