My ex is seeing someone and he's staying over on her custody days when the kids are there. I don't know this guy and it bothers me that another man is around my kids when I'm not. Legally probably nothing I can do but feels weird. How do other guys handle this? Do I say something or just let it go?
This one stings, I won't lie. But if he's a good dude and treating your kids well, that's what matters most. Have you thought about just asking your ex how the kids are doing when he's around?
Yeah that's tough. I think the hardest part is you don't have control over that situation anymore. What you CAN control is making sure when the kids are with you, they know they're loved and safe. Focus your energy there instead of on what's happening at her place. Easier said than done I know.
Have you talked to your kids about how they feel around this guy? Sometimes they'll tell you what you need to know. Not interrogating them obviously, just being open if they bring it up. That's usually the thing that matters most - how the kids are actually reacting.
This is tricky territory. I'm dealing with something similar on my end and honestly, your focus has to be on whether this guy is safe and respectful around your kids. If he is, you don't really have grounds to push back even though it sucks. If you have concerns about how he treats them or acts around them, that's a conversation you need to have with your ex directly. Keep it about the kids, not about your feelings.
I get why this bothers you, but unless there's something unsafe happening, this might be one of those things you have to let go. I know that sucks to hear. The best thing you can do is be the stable, reliable parent on your end and let the kids form their own opinions about what's going on at their mom's. They'll notice if you're upset about it.
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I get it, that feeling of not knowing who's around your kids is tough. I'd suggest asking your ex if you could meet the guy in a neutral spot first, just to ease your mind. Knowing who he is makes a big difference.