Splitting from their mom is happening and I need to have the conversation. They're 7 and 10. I want them to know it's not their fault and that I'll always be their dad. She wants to tell them together but I'm worried she'll try to turn them against me. What did you guys say and how did it go?
Honestly, kids pick up on way more than we think. They probably sense something already. Being honest with them shows respect and helps them process it better than wondering. Make sure they know they can ask questions and that they didn't cause this.
This is tough but honest conversations are better than them finding out later or picking up on tension. At 7 and 10 they can handle an age-appropriate talk. Keep it simple, reassure them it's not their fault, and that you're still their dad. It'll be hard but it'll be okay.
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We went through this with our two. The biggest thing was making sure they knew we both still loved them and that this didn't change that. Kids are resilient if you give them stable ground to stand on. You got this.
This is the hardest conversation you'll have as a dad but it matters that you're thinking carefully about how to do it. Don't try to be perfect, just be real and present with them.