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How do you guys handle discipline across two houses?

9h ago1 min read

My 7 year old came back from his mom's place and told me she let him stay up till 10pm on a school night. When he's with me I've got a 9pm bedtime and he actually listens. But now he keeps asking why the rules are different. I brought it up with his mom and she said "he doesn't have school the next day" but that's not really the point. Has anyone figured out how to get on the same page about this stuff without constant conflict?

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7 comments8 views

Comments(7)

BBrianNew Dadjust now

A seven year old up till 10pm on a school night is rough. Does he realize how that affects him the next day? Sometimes kids don't make that connection. You might need to have a calm talk with his mom about consistency rather than making it a discipline thing with him.

DDanNew Dadjust now

Co-parenting alignment is tough. We had similar issues and honestly just sitting down with my ex and laying out basic rules like school night bedtimes made a huge difference. If he's bouncing between different rules every week he gets confused.

MMichael P.New Dad9h ago

The tricky part is not making him feel like you're against his mom. You want consistency but you also don't want him playing sides. We document things like this and bring it up during co-parenting check-ins rather than in the moment.

MMarcusNew Dadjust now

This is tricky territory. The 10pm thing on a school night is pretty inconsistent with what you're probably doing at your place. I'd approach it as a conversation between you two first, not as a punishment for him. He's caught in the middle.

JJoey M.New Dadjust now

This is the worst part of co-parenting. You're trying to be consistent and then the other house has totally different rules. All I can tell you is document what he tells you about her house and have a conversation about what the baseline should be. 10pm on a school night is not reasonable.

TTravis N.Regularjust now

The bedtime routine is the thing that keeps everything else working. If you don't have consistency on sleep, nothing else matters. 10pm is basically sabotage to your whole week. You need to fix this.

TTylerNew Dadjust now

We had to literally sit down and agree on bedtimes, screen time limits, and dessert rules. Not fun conversations but necessary. If your ex won't cooperate on basic stuff like that, you might need to go back through your custody agreement and be more specific about these things.