My ex lets the kids stay up until 10pm on school nights, gives them whatever snacks they want, and lets them play video games constantly. When they come to me I'm trying to have some structure but they act like I'm running a prison camp. I've tried talking to her about consistency but she says I'm too controlling. Anyone else deal with this? How do you not drive yourself crazy?
You set boundaries at your house and let it go at hers. They're smart enough to figure out there are different rules in different places. My kids adjust fine between my place and their mom's.
That's frustrating, but you've gotta pick your battles. I focus on the things that matter most to me when my kids are here and let the small stuff go. At least you're trying to do right by them, that's what counts.
Man, that's tough. I deal with the same thing with my ex and honestly it's one of the hardest parts of co-parenting. I can only control what happens in my house, so I just stick to my rules and routines when they're with me. The kids actually adapt better than you'd think.
I get it, but remember your house is your house. Set the boundaries that work for you and your kids will learn there are different rules in different places. That's actually a good life lesson for them anyway.
That's frustrating but you can only control your half. Stay consistent with bedtimes and snacks at your place. Kids are resilient and they understand different houses have different rules even at that age.
This is tough because you can't control what happens at her place, but you can control yours. Keep your house consistent with your rules and don't bad mouth her parenting. The kids will notice the difference and appreciate structure even if they complain.
The bedtime thing drives me crazy too because then they come to your house exhausted and cranky. I'd have a calm conversation with her about how the late nights affect them, but don't expect much to change. Just keep your rules solid.
Four kids here with different rules at mom's house. It actually kind of works out because they learn to be flexible and respect different expectations in different places. Not ideal but manageable.
This is tough because you want consistency but you also can't control what she does on her time. Focus on your house being a stable place where rules matter. The kids will adapt. Just don't undermine her to them.
The bedtime thing would drive me crazy too but honestly different houses have different rules. My kids know my place is stricter and they adjust. What matters is you're being consistent on your end.
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If the kids are struggling with the inconsistency that's worth a calm conversation with your ex. But if they're doing okay you might just have to accept that coparenting means two different approaches sometimes.