My 7 year old asked me yesterday if mom's new boyfriend was going to 'be my new dad'. It caught me off guard. I didn't want to badmouth the guy or make it a thing but I also didn't want to dismiss my son's feelings. I just told him that his mom has friends and that I'm still his dad no matter what. Anyone else been through this? How did you handle it with your kids?
Oh man, that's a tough one. My kids have asked similar questions. I told them that having different people in our lives doesn't change who their actual dad is. Kept it simple and age appropriate. Does your 7 year old seem worried or just curious?
That's such a tough spot, man. My daughter asked something similar last year and it threw me for a loop. I just kept it simple - told her that mom has her own life and her own people she cares about, but that doesn't change anything between us. The boyfriend isn't replacing anyone, he's just part of mom's world. Seemed to help.
Kids pick up on stuff way more than we think. The fact that he's asking means he's processing it. I'd lean into honesty without oversharing - something like 'mom cares about him like I care about people in my life, but nobody's replacing anybody.' Seven year olds get that.
Kids say the darndest things right? I'd probably just reassure him that you're still his dad no matter what, and that mom can have friends without it changing your relationship with him. Keep it that straightforward.
Caught off guard by that one, huh? I've been fortunate that my kids haven't asked yet but I'm dreading the day. How'd you answer him? I feel like there's a right way to handle this and a bunch of wrong ways.
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That's the worst feeling when they catch you off guard like that. With the co-parenting situation you're dealing with, you might want to have a conversation with their mom about how to present these changes to the kids consistently. Same messaging from both homes helps.