My wife and I have decided to separate and we have three kids ages 7, 9, and 12. We want to tell them together and not make it ugly but honestly I'm terrified. We're planning to sit them down this weekend. Anyone been through this? What should we say or not say? How did your kids react?
Make sure your ex is on the same page about the message before you tell them. We made that mistake and the kids heard different stories which made everything worse.
We're probably about two weeks away from having this conversation. How did your 7 year old react? That's the age I'm most worried about.
Hardest conversation of my life was this one. Do it together if you can. Having both parents there saying it's a joint decision helped our kids feel like we were still a team even though we weren't together.
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Keep it simple and age appropriate. The kids don't need to know all the reasons why, they just need to know they're loved by both parents and that nothing is their fault. That's the big one - make sure they understand it's not something they did.