Wife and I decided to split last month. We have three kids, ages 7, 10, and 13. We want to tell them together this weekend but I'm terrified. Anyone been through this? What do you even say? How do you explain that dad's moving out but still loves them the same? My stomach has been in knots about this for weeks.
That's a tough weekend ahead but the fact that you're doing it together shows your kids you're still a team where it matters. My 13 year old had a lot of questions after ours, so just be ready to listen more than talk.
You've got this man. Doing it together is the right call. Keep it simple, age appropriate, and let them know this is about you and your wife, not about them. Brad K. here with two boys across two homes now and honestly the conversation was the hardest part.
Three kids at those ages is tough because each one's going to process it differently. The 13yo especially might act like they don't care but they're absorbing everything. Just be honest and available.
Do it together if you can. Even if things are tense, them seeing you both handle it maturely will help way more than you realize. And be ready for a lot of questions after.
Make sure you do it together if at all possible. Even if things are rough between you two, hearing it from both of you matters. The 7 year old is gonna need a lot of extra patience and reassurance after.
This is so hard but good that you're being thoughtful about it. Kids need to know the truth but also need reassurance that both parents still love them and that won't change. Have you guys agreed on what you're going to say?
I'm really sorry you're going through this. We told our three kids (similar ages actually) together, kept it simple, and made sure they knew it wasn't their fault. The 13 year old probably already suspects something. Honesty goes a long way.
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This is rough territory. My advice after going through something similar: keep it simple, age appropriate, and make it clear it's not their fault. The fact that you and your ex are thinking about how to do this right says a lot. That matters.
The fact that you're thinking about this carefully beforehand shows you care about getting it right. That's the biggest thing.