How to communicate with ex about important stuff

1w ago·1 min read

Need advice on this one. Every time I try to talk to my ex about the kids school or health stuff she gets defensive and thinks I'm criticizing her. I don't mean it that way at all. Just last week I mentioned our son's teacher said he needs help with math and she flipped out saying I was implying she doesn't help him with homework. I'm not trying to start drama I just want to make sure we're on the same page for the kids. What's the best way to keep things civil and focused?

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Comments(6)

PPhil C.Regular1w ago

Maybe start those conversations with something positive about the kids first, then ease into the topic you need to discuss. It can help lower her defenses.

DDean F.Regular1w ago

Try keeping it purely factual and focused on the kids. Like, 'Johnny's teacher mentioned his math grade' instead of anything that could sound like you're questioning her parenting. Stick to the facts.

LLucas H.New Dad1w ago

The school and health conversations need to be separate from the normal co-parenting chatter. Make it clear this is about the kids, not about anything else. Frame it that way and you'll get better results.

AAndrew T.New Dad1w ago

Use email or a co-parenting app for the important stuff. Keeps everything documented and makes it harder for things to get defensive. School and health decisions shouldn't be done over text anyway.

PPhil M.Regular1w ago

We switched to using an app specifically for co-parenting communication and it changed everything. Everything's in writing, there's no misunderstandings, and it keeps emotions out of it.

MMarcusNew Dad1w ago

Gets frustrating fast doesn't it. Try scheduling a specific time to talk about kid stuff instead of bringing it up randomly. Makes it feel less combative and she might actually listen instead of getting defensive.