How to communicate with my ex about discipline

3w ago·1 min read

My kids told me that their mom lets them stay up until 10pm on school nights and doesn't make them do homework. I'm trying to keep them on a routine on my days but it's hard when they're exhausted or not doing school work. I tried texting her about it but she got defensive and said I'm undermining her parenting. We're not together anymore so I can't just talk to her in person. How do I handle this without making it worse between us?

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Comments(3)

VVincentRegular3w ago

Oh man this is exactly what I'm dealing with right now. The 10pm thing would drive me crazy on school nights. I usually approach it by asking about what her reasoning is first, not coming in hot. Sometimes there's a legitimate reason, sometimes it's just different parenting styles and you gotta find middle ground. Have you tried a co-parenting app? Keeps things less personal.

BBrad T.New Dad3w ago

This is tough because you want consistency but you also don't want to be the bad guy. I'd frame it as a conversation about what's best for the kid, not about her being wrong. Maybe suggest a consistent bedtime between both houses. If she won't budge, sometimes you just have to let it go and handle your house how you see fit.

VVincentRegular3w ago

The homework thing is separate from bedtime though right? That one I'd push harder on. Tired kids don't do homework well. The bedtime is annoying but if he's getting enough sleep overall maybe it's not the hill to die on.