How to handle it when your ex is talking bad about you to the kids

3d ago1 min read

Found out from my 9 year old that mom told them I left because I didnt love them enough. I never said anything bad about her to them, I just explained that sometimes grown ups grow apart. Now my kid is acting clingy and has some anxiety about me leaving. Called my ex and she got defensive, said she was just being honest. This feels like it could really mess with my kids heads and I dont know what my legal options are or how to handle this with my kids without making it worse.

7 comments151 views

Comments(7)

CChris M.Regular2d ago

This is one of the worst things an ex can do and I'm sorry you're dealing with it. That's literally sabotaging your relationship with your kids and their sense of security. Have you been able to talk to your 9 year old and gently correct what mom said, or does the custody agreement make that tricky?

KKyleRegular2d ago

That's really messed up. Your kid deserves to know the truth, and honestly a family counselor or mediator might need to get involved here because this is damaging. I know co-parenting is hard but bad mouthing you to the kids crosses a line.

JJason T.Regular2d ago

This one hits hard. You might need to have a conversation with the kids where you gently correct what they've been told. They deserve to know the real story from their dad.

KKyleRegular2d ago

I would sit down with your ex and have a serious conversation about this. Kids shouldn't be used as messengers or weapons. They need both parents and they need to know they're loved.

CChris M.Regular3d ago

Man that's rough. When my kids were that age and something similar happened, I focused on just being present and consistent with them instead of trash talking back. They figure out the truth eventually. Document everything though if it keeps happening.

RRobertRegular3d ago

Parenting through a split is already tough enough without the other parent poisoning the well. Document everything and keep being the present father you clearly are. The kids will figure it out eventually.

MMikeRegular3d ago

That is absolutely rough and I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Your 9yo needs to hear from you directly and age-appropriately that you love them and that's the truth. Don't let her narrative become their reality.