Been separated for 18 months and I've got a serious girlfriend now. We've been together 6 months and she wants to meet the kids. My ex is going to absolutely lose it when she finds out. But I feel like my kids should eventually meet people important in my life right? How long is too soon? And should I tell my ex first or just let her find out? Don't want to be a jerk about this.
This is tricky territory. My advice is to let the kids ask questions naturally and answer them honestly but simply. Don't oversell the relationship but don't hide it either. How old are your kids? That matters a lot for how you approach it.
Make sure your ex knows what's happening before the kids find out from someone else. I learned that the hard way. Keep it low-key at first and give the kids time to adjust to the idea before she's around a lot.
Just keep it chill and let the kids lead the pace. Don't oversell her as a new family member right away. They'll warm up naturally if things are good between you two. Trust the process.
This is where you need to be really intentional. The kids need to know they're your priority first. Meeting the girlfriend after 6 months seems reasonable but how does your ex feel about it? That matters too.
I'm in a similar boat right now actually. I'm thinking of doing something low key first like getting coffee together while the kids are with their mom, then maybe a family activity after a few more months. Don't rush it.
Sign in to join the conversation.
Six months is a good amount of time. I'd say take it slow though - maybe meet somewhere neutral first like a park or something casual. Don't make it a big formal thing. See how they vibe before she's spending time at the house.