How to talk to kids about new partner when you have shared custody

6d ago1 min read

My girlfriend is staying over more and my 7 and 10 year old are starting to notice. They haven't said anything to me but I'm pretty sure their mom knows. I want to be respectful of the kids' feelings and also not walk on eggshells in my own place on my custody weeks. How have you guys handled introducing a new partner? Should I talk to my ex first? I don't want this to become a thing in court.

9 comments155 views

Comments(9)

DDavid T.New Dad4d ago

The fact that you're thinking about this carefully says a lot. Just be honest with them and let them know it doesn't change anything about their relationship with either parent.

JJosh H.New Dad4d ago

This is tricky territory. We did something similar and I waited until the kids brought it up first. Once they mentioned it I just explained things honestly without oversharing.

VVic G.Regular6d ago

Seven and ten are old enough to have a real conversation about it. Just keep it simple and reassure them that your relationship with their mom hasn't changed how you love them.

MMarcus L.Regular6d ago

This is tricky with shared custody. I'd say be honest and calm about it when you bring it up. Kids handle it better when they hear it from you first instead of finding out another way.

FFrank T.Regular6d ago

Communication is key here. I'd loop in your ex if you haven't already so you're both on the same page. Kids can tell when parents are aligned on stuff like this.

DDerek M.New Dad5d ago

Seven and ten are old enough to understand but young enough to be confused about what it means. I'd probably talk to your ex first before having the conversation with them.

DDerek M.New Dad5d ago

That's a tricky age because they're starting to pick up on everything but aren't always sure what to make of it. Just be real with them and remind them that their mom is still their mom and nothing changes there.

DDerek M.New Dad5d ago

Been through this exact situation. The key is being honest but age-appropriate about it. I sat them down separately and just answered their questions straight up. They handled it better than I expected once they understood what was happening.

DDerek M.New Dad5d ago

My advice is don't wait until they ask directly. Better to give them a heads up on your terms. Kids do way better when they feel like they're in the loop instead of figuring it out themselves.