Introducing transition day routine with my kids

Dec 81 min read

So every Thursday is pickup day and I started something new: we go to the same coffee shop, kid picks out a snack, we sit for 15 mins and talk about the week before going to mom's. Sounds simple but it's become like... our thing? Makes the transition less jarring I think. My 6yo is way less clingy on handoff now. My ex actually mentioned she noticed he seems calmer too. If anyone's struggling with pickup/dropoff drama, might be worth trying something like this instead of just rushing it.

10 comments171 views

Comments(10)

AAndy S.RegularDec 8

this is actually genius. the consistency of same place + same ritual gives them something to anchor on during the transition. how long did it take before they started opening up about their week?

AAdam J.RegularDec 9

Does your ex know about the coffee shop thing or is this more of a personal thing you do with them? Trying to figure out how to do similar stuff without drama

BBrad H.RegularDec 9

I'm gonna steal this exactly. My pickup day is chaos because the kids are cranky about switching houses and I'm stressed about the drive. Having a built-in pause moment like this could actually help everyone

TThomas H.RegularDec 9

Love this. Does the snack picking thing matter or is it just the routine part that's helping them? Wondering if it's the ritual or the actual choice that makes them calmer

RRandy B.RegularDec 9

we tried something similar but at a park instead. my ex actually commented that our daughter seemed less anxious on transition days. the snack thing is key—gives them something to do with their hands while talking

TTodd N.RegularDec 10

This is genuinely thoughtful parenting. That 15 min window isn't about logistics, it's about creating a consistent moment where they know you're present and listening before the transition. That matters way more than people realize

TTim B.RegularDec 9

The consistency is key here - same place, same time, same routine. Kids process transitions SO much better when they know what to expect. How long have you been doing this?

CCharlie A.New DadDec 11

lol sounds simple but honestly the hardest part is probably just being present for those 15 mins without checking your phone. respect for actually doing it

PPete A.RegularDec 9

Wait, your kid actually WANTS to sit with you for 15 mins? Mine would rather be literally anywhere else lol. What's the magic?

KKenny W.RegularDec 11

the coffee shop thing is perfect because it's neutral ground, not your place or hers. plus the barista probably knows them now which makes it feel special