Kids tell me stories that make me question what's happening at mom's house

1w ago1 min read

My 8yo mentioned that mom's new boyfriend yelled at him for spilling milk and that made him scared. Then later my daughter said they're eating TV dinners every night now instead of actual meals. I don't want to be that guy who's always assuming the worst, but as a dad I'm concerned. How do you handle this? Do you gently ask more questions, ask your ex directly, or just wait to see if patterns emerge?

10 comments246 views

Comments(10)

CChrisRegular1w ago

This is the stuff that keeps me up at night. If your kid is genuinely scared, that's not a small thing. I'd document what he says and consider talking to a family lawyer about it. You need to know what's really happening at her place.

JJason T.Regular1w ago

Spilled milk shouldn't result in a scared kid. That's worth a real conversation with your ex about boundaries in her house. Your kids need to feel safe everywhere, not just with you.

NNolan D.Regular1w ago

That's concerning and you're right to take it seriously. An 8 year old getting scared from being yelled at over spilled milk is a yellow flag. You need to talk to your ex about this and keep track of these incidents.

MMarkNew Dad1w ago

I'm dealing with similar stuff here in Charlotte with my two. The stories they bring back sometimes don't add up, and it's hard not to jump to conclusions. Document what they're saying and trust your gut on the serious stuff.

DDerek P.Regular1w ago

That's a tough situation man. The yelling thing would concern me too, especially with a young kid. Have you thought about having a calm conversation with their mom about what they're experiencing over there?

CChris M.Regular1w ago

Kids sometimes exaggerate or misunderstand things, but fear is real. I'd have a calm conversation with your ex about what happened before jumping to conclusions. But if there's a pattern of him being scared, that's worth taking seriously.

MMikeRegular1w ago

My gut reaction is protective too, but I learned my ex can yell at her boyfriend and the kids pick up on tension differently. Talk to your 8yo more about what scared him specifically. Is it the volume or something he said? Get the full picture first.

SScott M.Regular1w ago

This is tough territory because you want to be careful, trust the kids, but also not jump to conclusions. I'd ask a few more gentle questions about what happened and how often the boyfriend acts this way. Document it too.

NNolan D.Regular1w ago

As someone navigating co-parenting myself, I know how tricky this gets. But your kid's safety and emotional wellbeing come first. Trust what he's telling you and address it directly with mom.

MMike R.Regular1w ago

You need to have a calm conversation with your ex about this ASAP. Don't approach it accusatory but be clear that your child felt scared and that matters. If this is a pattern, you might need to involve legal counsel.