Kindergarten transition is HARD

Nov 211 min read

My 5yo started kindergarten and she's having trouble adjusting between my place and mom's place. Different routines, different expectations, different kids in the neighborhood. Our schedule is 50/50 which seemed fair on paper but now I'm wondering if it's too much bouncing around for a kindergartner? She was asking to stay at one house last week. We just switched to this schedule 2 months ago. Do we need to change things or is this normal adjustment stuff?

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Comments(9)

PPete L.Regular1d ago

The asking to stay at one house thing would concern me more than the general adjustment stuff. Is she saying she wants to stay at YOUR place specifically, or just whichever one she's at? That's a big difference.

HHank L.Regular1d ago

This is totally normal for that age. 2 months is still really fresh. Kids need like 6-9 months to adjust to a new schedule, especially at kindergarten age when everything else is already overwhelming. I'd give it more time before making big changes.

RRich B.Regular1d ago

Get a visual calendar she can see and understand. Like actual pictures of 'Monday at Dad's' 'Tuesday at Mom's' etc. Kindergarteners need to know what's coming. My son had massive anxiety until we did this and then it got SO much better.

CChris N.Regular1d ago

We ended up going 4-3-4-3 instead of true 50/50 and it was a game changer. Fewer transitions, longer stretches to settle in, but still feels equal. Might be worth proposing if she's really struggling with the bouncing around.

DDex J.New Dad1d ago

50/50 with a kindergartner is rough ngl. We tried it and our daughter would just shut down on transition days. We moved to 60/40 and it helped a lot. Still took months to smooth out though.

JJoel F.Regular1d ago

Real talk - have you and her mom talked about what she's actually saying at each house? Sometimes kids will ask to stay at one place because of something specific that happened (friend drama, tired of transitions, whatever) not because the schedule itself is wrong. Get more info before you change anything.

JJosh E.Regular1d ago

lol welcome to the club, this was me 3 years ago

PPete A.Regular1d ago

How different are the actual routines though? Like bedtime, meals, rules? If kindergarten is already chaotic, maybe you and mom should sync up on the basics at least. Consistent bedtime hour, same breakfast type stuff. Doesn't have to be identical but less whiplash helps.

KKurt D.Regular1d ago

The schedule change + kindergarten starting at the same time is probably the issue. That's a LOT of new variables. She's got a new school, new routine there, new kids, AND a new custody schedule. I'd honestly hold steady for the rest of this school year and see where she's at in June before switching things up again.